


Once There Was a Hushpuppy

by Molespeople



Series: Egg In Your Milky Way [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Asspuppies, Asspuppy, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Kid Fic, M/M, Male Lactation, Mpreg, Strange Parenting Tactics, Unplanned Pregnancy, Unsafe Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-11
Updated: 2013-06-17
Packaged: 2017-12-14 17:45:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/839634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Molespeople/pseuds/Molespeople
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Egg In Your Milky Way. </p>
<p>Stiles and Derek are expecting their litter. It's time to prepare their firstborn for what's ahead...but it might actually help if Derek knew kind of what to expect as well. </p>
<p>Yeahhhhhhhhhhh.......</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A True Story

**Author's Note:**

> I was actually dropped on my head as a baby...among other things. SO THAT MIGHT EXPLAIN A LOT (like why this fic exists). Also, I feel like my brain fell out...or my teeth - writing kid dialogue - do not like. So be gentle. And as alway, I'm sorry!

"Scoot over, kiddo."Stiles sits down on the bed and snuggles with a small boy with a mess of dark hair. "So where did we leave off?" 

"Puppy." 

"Okay...let's see so Uncle Scott wrapped this little ball of fluff up in a blanket and it was so cute and quiet, and I said, 'Scott, it's a hushpuppy.'"

The boy looks at Stiles with wide eyes. "That was me!" 

"Yes, it was Angus - the original hushpuppy. But then this little ball of fluff turned into the cutest baby with this little tuft of hair." Stiles ruffles Angus' hair. The boy squirms, giggling wildly. 

"So you've got hushpuppies in your tummy now?" 

"Yep, and once they decide to arrive, you'll have to be a big brother and help watch out for the little hushpuppies." 

"'Cause I'm a big boy I get to be a big brother." 

Stiles stands up and starts tidying up the bed. "That's exactly how it works. But now I think it's time for all the hushpuppies to go night-night." 

"I will do this, but I have needs." 

Stiles laughs. " Okay, name your price." 

Angus pauses and considers his options. "First, tuck-in...with Mo." 

Stiles pretends to hesitate. "I accept these terms." Stiles picks up a little stuffed brown cow, well loved, and missing an eye and places it on the bed. He tucks them both in. "Any other demands, Sir Angus?"

Angus snuggles with his toy. "Kiss night." 

"Such a hardship, you silly goose." Stiles leans over and kisses the boy's forehead loudly. "Good now?" 

Angus shakes his head quickly back and forth. "Can't go to sleep without Al-Pa kisses." 

"Who could live without Al-Pa kisses? Maybe if you ask nicely Al-Pa might show up?" 

"Alllllll-pa, night-night kisses, please, now." 

Derek appears in the doorway. "Who called for the Al-Pa? Does this little boy know what he's asking for?"

"Night-night kisses!"

Derek sighs. "Well, if you think you can handle it..." 

Angus motions for his dad. "Of course!" 

Derek stalks towards the bed and tickles the boy, making growling noises. 

Stiles walks out of the bedroom, smiling as he listens to the playful noises.

\------

Derek finds Stiles standing in front of the bathroom mirror, brushing his teeth.

Stiles pauses in his brushing. "Is Gus down for the count?" Toothpaste foam sprays about. 

Derek nods and leans against the doorframe. "Hushpuppy, huh? Cutest baby, huh? I'm pretty sure he just looked like a deranged orangutan, but that's just my perspective." 

Stiles splutters. "I wasn't going to tell him what actually happened. I thought you were bad Chinese food - Yay! No, he gets the Disney version, not Grimm, because he's three and we're trying not to scar him for life."

Derek snorts. "Because Angus is so subtle." 

"He won't make the connection unless someone tells him. And we're not telling him...ever." 

"He's got a stuffed cow. I'm pretty sure at some point in his life he'll make the connection...unless you drop him on his head again."

"That happened ONCE. Babies are squirmy apparently, I wasn't expecting that." Stiles scowls at Derek in the mirror and returns to brushing his teeth. 

Derek goes quiet. "Obviously, I knows what happens...because I was there-ish... but what was it like those first couple of days?"

Stiles spits into the sink. "Are you wanting the Disney version or the Grimm one?" 

Derek just scowls in response. 

Stiles tilts his head, a playful smile on his lips. "Once upon a time, there was a handsome and intelligent prince..." 

Derek gives Stiles a harsh look. 

"Fine, fine, Grimm, it is. Once there was... an asspuppy..."


	2. Hounds of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Um. Conception...and dissolution.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um. So it was kind of implied in Egg In Your Milky Way that things between Derek and Stiles are not the greatest. Here's the reason why?

October: Fall Break - Stiles' Freshman Year

Stiles places his fork on the table. "Let's hear it for the Pinterest lasagna. Good pin-experience..."

Derek looks up from his plate. "It was good." 

Stiles smiles. "Good! I'd hate to spend precious hours of my fall break slaving away to make a crappy dish. Because... this has happened. Tofu Casserole of 2011 - Complete disaster. I actually had to throw the baking dish away..." Stiles stands up and starts to tidy up the kitchen. "And there's tons of leftovers, so you'll have something to remember me by when you're eating lasagna five days from now. I'll be at school taking a test on the Titans and you'll be here enjoying lasagna and... hopefully not fighting Titans."

"Yay. Lasagna." Derek deadpans.

Stiles flops onto the velvet couch and tries patting it enticingly. "So any plans for the rest of the night - last night before I have to go back to school?" 

Derek looks at Stiles' hand patting the couch and then at Stiles. "...Sex?" 

Stiles laughs and pretends to swoon. "The romance is dead." 

Derek frowns and walks into the bedroom. 

Stiles rolls his eyes and finishes cleaning up. "Way to take a joke, Derek." 

Stiles looks up randomly in the middle of saran wrapping the lasagna and jumps, surprised by Derek's presence. And suddenly there's an extremely long piece of seemingly sentient saran wrap. Derek just stands there as Stiles tries to prevent asphyxiation via saran wrap. When Stiles finally manages to wrestle the plastic wrap into submission, Derek is still standing there. " Did Timmy fall down the well, Lassie?"

Derek shakes his head and starts to walk away. 

"Am I supposed to be following you this time?" Stiles calls to Derek's retreating figure. 

"Yes." 

Stiles looks at the still unwrapped lasagna remnants and abandons the project, following Derek into the bedroom. Derek is standing near the bed. 

Stiles looks around. "So...what am I looking for?" 

Derek gestures about the room " I put clean sheets on the bed...and there's music." 

Stiles stares at him, confused. 

Derek sighs and air quotes. "Romance." 

Stiles laughs and jumps on the bed - mussing the sheets. "Look at me on the clean sheets. So clean and romantic." 

Derek growls. "Never mind then, just forget about it." 

Stiles sobers. "No, no. It was a nice gesture. It's appreciated". Stiles smiles coyly. "Pump up the jams. Let's make these sheets dirty!"

Two Minutes Later 

Stiles pauses and pulls away from Derek's mouth. "What the fuck are we listening to?" 

Derek's reply is punctuated with kisses. "I. Have. No. Clue." 

Stiles squirms away. "Oh my god. It's Katy Perry! Why do you have Katy Perry?" 

Derek frowns. "It's Cora's? It was the only CD I could find that seemed appropriate. It said Sexytiems." 

Stiles groans. "You might want to have a talk with her about that." 

"If the music is that bad, I can just turn it off." 

"...I can work with it..." 

\--------------------------

Stiles sighs, satisfied, snuggling into Derek's side. "Best way to end a visit back home." 

Derek stills and Stiles looks at him. "What was that for?" 

Derek sits up and moves to the edge of the bed and stares at the wall. Derek sighs. "I think we should take a break for a while." 

Stiles scrambles to sit up. "Whoa, what brought this up? And for the record, really bad timing." 

Derek stands up and paces about the room. "When was I supposed to bring it up? Saturday's scheduled Skype chat?

Stiles gets out of bed and starts angrily pulling on clothes. " We've talked about this - at length. We agreed that the distance wasn't going to be a problem. So I’m not really sure what the problem is."

"It's your freshman year - you're not supposed to spend it Skyping me. You're supposed to be going out to parties and meeting new people and..." 

"Okay, yeah, parties are danger zones. When's the last time nothing bad happened at a party?" 

"That's the point, Stiles, you're having the opportunity to go to parties and not deal with the crazy shit." 

Stiles shakes his head. "What part of I want to be with you with or without the crazy shit, do you not get?"

Derek just looks at Stiles. 

Stiles rolls his eyes. "Whatever. I'm going home." 

Stiles finishes dressing and leaves the bedroom. He grabs his keys and stomps to the door. Stiles pauses at the door, waiting for Derek to do something - anything. 

Stiles shakes his head. "Call me Derek when you decide to stop acting stupid." Stiles leaves, slamming the door. 

Derek does not call.


	3. Babyboom ohne mich

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts off exactly where Egg In Your Milky Way left off. So there's a baby...now what.

"And now there's a baby. Great." 

Scott looks at the baby in Stiles' arms. "Wish it was still a puppy because then I'd know what to do." 

Stiles looks horrified. His whole body is tense. "Am I even holding it right?" 

"How should I know?!" 

"Google it? I don't even know. Just bring me my phone...and maybe call your mom." 

Scott fetches Stiles' phone and holds it out to him. 

Stiles gives Scott a funny look. "Hands are kind of full right now, Scott." 

Scott sighs, rolling his eyes. "So demanding." But he starts typing, narrating his search query. "How. To. Hold. A. Baby." He stares at the cellphone's screen. "Support the head." 

"Okay, let's try this again. Are there any pictures or maybe a video..." 

Scott nods. "Okay. Basic holds okay?" 

"Yes... Definitely a beginner baby holder here."

Scott taps the cellphone's screen and starts to watch. 

"Might want to share with the class..."

"Oh yeah, sorry." Scott holds out the cellphone. 

Stiles squints at the screen. "Okay, support the head. Check. Nook of the arm..." Stiles looks down and adjusts the baby's position. "...Check." Stiles spends the next few minutes completely absorbed in the video. "Okay, one step closer to not damaging the baby..." Stiles studies the baby in his arms and then looks back at the video, squinting."Sooooo maybe you might want to call your mom now...because the baby in this video looks a lot bigger than Junior here."

"My mom? Can't we call Deaton?"

Stiles looks at Scott. "When I want to figure out _how_ this happened I'll talk to Deaton...And that is going to be a _fun_ conversation. But right now I'm more concerned with how not to kill the baby... the human-ish baby."

Scott groans. "She's really not going to like this." 

Stiles scoffs. "You're not the one who had a baby. I've got to explain this to my dad...and he's got a gun."

Scott winces. "How long do you think you can hold off on that?"

Stiles sighs, looking down at the baby. "As long as possible, but once your mom knows, all bets are off."

Scott grimaces and starts to dial. 

\-------  
Melissa finishes checking a patient's chart and walks into the hospital's hallway. She pauses and fishes a cell phone out of her scrubs. "Scott, I'm at work and aren't you supposed to be studying?" 

"I am, promise...but...Stiles just had a baby."

Melissa stops in her tracks and frowns. "A baby?"

"Well first it was a puppy but now it's a baby."

Melissa holds her head and takes a moment to absorb this sentence. "This is more werewolf shit, isn't it?"

"Basically."

Melissa sighs. "Okay, first, get some paper and a pen and write this down."


	4. Nonpareil of Favor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've got a baby 101 shopping list from Melissa...but who's going to do the shopping?

"Why do I have to get these things? Because I'm a girl? And how much money is this going to cost? We're college students, Scott, how am I supposed to pay for all that?" 

Scott rubs his eyes and leans against the wall in the dorm hallway. "Didn't your dad give you a credit card for emergencies?" 

"Let me get this straight, Scott, you want me to use the 'I Swear Allison This Card Is Only For Emergencies - I Will Be Checking The Statements' credit card to buy BABY paraphernalia. He's going to think I'm PREGNANT." 

"But you're not...right?" 

"You mean I didn't tell you? No, Scott, I am NOT PREGNANT." 

Scott looks up and down the hallway and sighs, cupping his cell phone. "Sorry, I just wanted to make sure, okay? I didn't think Stiles was pregnant either, but now there's a baby..." 

"I'm not saying there won't ever be a baby in the future...just not now...but maybe distantly.... distantly...distantly in the future." 

Scott smiles. "Yeah..."

"But they wouldn't be puppies right? They would be babies..."

Scott frowns. "I'd have to ask somebody, but I'm pretty sure they'd just be babies. Really cute babies."

"Is Stiles' baby cute?"

Scott grimaces and quickly checks that the dorm room is closed. “.... No? But I'm not really a baby judging expert?" 

"Do you have a picture?" 

"Yeah...one sec..."

Scott is in the midst of attaching a photo when the door opens. Stiles is standing there, baby resting on his shoulder. 

"Give me the phone, Scott." 

Scott grimaces and hands the phone over. 

"Allison. Hi! Sorry to break up your little chat. But I've got a baby wrapped in a towel right now...so, chop chop." 

"Chop chop? Are you kidding me right now..." 

" Alright, I could have phrased that better. But it's 3:00 in the morning; I'm still working on this stupid paper. And we can't really leave unless we have some of the items on that list, like the car seat...And I'm sorry it's 3:00 in the morning and I'm asking you to do this...but just consider the optics of this situation. Two teenage boys. On a college campus. With a baby wrapped in a towel. So I'd really appreciate if you could get us those items before people start waking up and asking questions."

Scott starts trying to remove the phone from Stiles' grasp, but Stiles manages to squirm away, "Because I don't know how I would answer those questions, Allison!"

Scott finally wrestles the phone away from Stiles. "Go work on your paper, Stiles, I've got this." Scott tentatively raises the phone to his ear. "Allison?" 

"Wow. So I should probably get on this before I get yelled at again." 

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that..." 

"Well, yeah, I guess he gets a pass this time...but tell him he owes me one and that I've got knives. 

Scott nods emphatically." I will remind him of this fact."

Scott hears Allison sigh over the phone. "I'll talk to you soon...I've got to go shopping and y'know, get judged about my life choices. Love ya, baby...oh god, poor choice of words, sorry." 

Scott laughs. "Love you, too."


	5. Milk-Heavy, Pollen-Eyed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles is starting to get the hang of this baby thing...right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I pretty much hate this chapter. I'm sorry in advance.

Scott walks back into the dorm room. Stiles is sitting at his desk. One of his hands is cradling the baby to his shoulder. His other hand is pecking at the keys. Stiles briefly looks up at Scott as he enters the room. 

"So how did she take it?"

Scott scratches his head. "Okay, I guess. It took a while to convince her that this wasn't a dream...or a practical joke."

Stiles chortles, still typing away. "At this point, I'm thinking my whole life is a practical joke..." Stiles finishes typing with a flourish. "And this shitty paper is officially done! Ideally I would have liked to have less block quotes...and maybe an actual point. But I might get a...." Stiles squints at the computer screen." A B? And I'm pretty sure McGinty has low standards as some of my classmates are THIS close to reverting back to primordial ooze... I think I'm his favorite." Stiles clicks the mouse and the printer whirls to life. Stiles looks to Scott. "How is your studying going?" 

Scott ponders this for a moment. " I feel pretty confident. And it's multiple choice. And the professor curves, and we're allowed to drop our lowest grade." 

"Good. Good. That's good."

Scott rolls his eyes. "You want me to turn your paper in, don't you?"

Stiles nods. "Yep."

Scott. "Fine." 

"English Building. Second floor, Room 214. It's the door that says 'Abandon hope, all ye who enter here'. There's a mail tray on the door."

"I'm not going to have to go through a window or anything...?"

Stiles looks confused. "It's the English building, they don't lock it... The only things of value might be the wall clocks from the ‘60’s…I mean the desks are bolted to the floor..."

Scott bobs his head. "Okay. I guess I will be right back then."

Stiles nods in response. "Yep. Thanks."

Scott leaves and closes the door. Stiles stands up and stiffly moves to the bed. He gingerly sits down and winces. He carefully moves the baby from his shoulder to the crook of his arm. "You still doing okay, buddy?" The baby yawns and opens his eyes. For a brief moment, Stiles is entranced by the delicate creature in his arms...and then the baby starts to cry. 

\------------------------------------

Scott jogs back to the dorm entrance and fishes a flimsy rectangular piece of plastic out of his pant pocket. He swipes the card through the card reader and pulls on the door expecting it to open. There’s a harsh buzz and the card reader flashes red, a pixelated message quickly scrolls across the screen. “Oh, c’mon.” Scott tries swiping the card again. The card reader flashes angrily. Scott groans. “This is so stupid.” Scott slowly tries swiping his card again. 

\------------------------------------

Scott stomps up the stairs. He violently pushes on the door at the top of the stairs, but scrambles to catch it before it slams into the wall. Scott sighs as he tries to prevent the door from slamming shut, guiding it back into place. He starts to trudge down the hallway. 

“Yo, Scott!” 

Scott pauses and rolls his head. He heads back to the dorm room he had just passed. The teenager in the room removes his headphones and presses a button on his game controller. 

“Andy said you guys had a puppy! Can I rub it for luck? I need all the help I can get with my Chem final.” 

Scott looks confused. “It’s not a magic lamp or…like a Buddha, Tyler. It’s just a puppy and it’s probably sleeping.” 

Tyler looks dubious. “How do you know it’s NOT a magic puppy, if you don’t try it out? Dog could be Clifford for all you know.” 

Scott just stares. “…I’m just going to go to my room now.” 

Tyler shrugs. “Night, bro.” 

Scott hurries away. He finally arrives at his dorm room and starts to turn the doorknob.

“Scott?” 

“Yeah.” Scott proceeds to open the door. 

“Don’t come in.”

Scott groans. “What? Dude. I just did you a big favor.” 

“…I don’t have a shirt on.”

“I’ve seen you without a shirt before…are you having…body image issues? I mean I think that’s normal in these types of cases…”

“No…It’s not…just don’t come in.”

“I’m too tired to deal with this right now.” Scott opens the door and freezes when he sees Stiles on the bed, baby cradled to his bare chest. He scrambles inside the room and closes the door. “What are you doing?” Scott hisses. 

 

Stiles winces at Scott’s tone. “…Breast…feeding?”


	6. Mess Me Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby poops. 
> 
> Yes. This chapter is pretty boring. NEXT CHAPTER, I'm thinking is when there will be action...hopefully.

Stiles gently places the baby on the bed. He rubs his eyes and sighs. “ I can’t believe that just happened. Pretty sure Zeus, God of Thunder, never had to breastfeed.” 

“Why are you comparing yourself to Zeus now?” Scott asks from the bed, obviously perplexed.

Stiles sighs and flaps a hand about. “It’s a long story…but basically Zeus had a baby in his leg.”

Scott looks a little uneasy. “Was there frottage involved?”

Stiles just stares at Scott. “ I think we need to get some sleep now.”

Scott checks his phone. “Oh man, it’s 4:00… my final is at 8:00…but Allison isn’t here yet.”

Stiles just looks blankly at Scott. “I’m so tired I can’t feel my face. But what do I do with the baby…Put it in a drawer?”

Scott looks taken aback. “ I could just hold it while you sleep…until Allison gets here, I guess.”

“I am good with this plan. I feel like if I stay any longer my eyeballs will fall into my throat or bees will -- ”

“Just give me the baby and go to sleep already.” Scott interrupts.

Stiles nods and picks the baby back up. He hands the baby over to Scott. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”

Stiles shuffles back to his bed and flops down, promptly passing out.

Scott studies the baby in his arms. “You look different…did you do something different with your hair?”

\--------- 

Scott is just sitting on the bed, staring at the wall, when his phone begins to vibrate. Scott answers it. "Allison?" 

"Nope, it's Santa Claus -- open the door, please." 

"Uh sure. Let me just put the baby...somewhere. I'll be right out." 

Scott gets up and walks towards a drooling Stiles and attempts to rouse him. "Stiles. Allison is here. Stiles." 

Scott uses one of his legs to poke Stiles. "You need to take your baby back now."

Stiles jolts awake and looks blearily at Scott. He swings his legs over to sit at the edge of the bed and holds his arms out. "Baby me." 

Scott transfers the baby into Stiles' arms and leaves the room. When he arrives in the dorm parking lot he finds Allison sitting in a sea of plastic bags. "Did you buy the whole store?" 

Allison sighs. "This is everything on the list." 

"Should we bring everything upstairs? Will this even fit in the dorm room?" 

Allison grimaces. "Has your room grown since the last time I visited?"

Scott and Allison stare at the mass of baby paraphernalia. 

\---------

Scott opens the dorm room door. " Allison got all the stuff but --" 

Stiles looks up. The baby is wrapped in a sheet. " I hope you weren't especially attached to that towel. Baby's first poop, yay." 

Scott and Allison maneuver through the door, depositing the bags. Allison starts looking through the bags. "Congratulations? I've got diapers in here somewhere." 

Stiles nods. "This would be greatly appreciated at this juncture." 

Allison pokes through another bag and whips out a pack of diapers. She sidesteps past Scott, navigating the tight quarters, and places the diapers on the bed. 

Stiles rests the baby on the bed and proceeds to unwind the sheet. 

Allison brushes a piece of hair behind her ear and leans over to look at the baby. "Oh, what a ... baby!" 

Stiles is trying to wrestle a diaper out of the packaging and pauses. "What a baby? That's all you've got?" 

Allison winces. "I haven't gotten much sleep?" 

Stiles frowns. "I think it's kind of cute." Stiles manages to extract a diaper and starts to put it on the baby. 

Allison sidles over to Scott. "Mother's love much?" Scott tries not to laugh. 

Stiles turns around, holding the newly diapered baby. "Success! That wasn't too hard." Stiles hears a rustle and looks down. There's a diaper on the floor. Scott and Allison burst out laughing.


	7. Time to Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter...really short. But somebody finds out about the baby?

Stiles yawns. "Okay, it's 5:30. Baby has been dressed, fed, changed, and... dressed again. Finals start at 8:00. This means the denizens of the underworld will be rising at 7:30. I think if we leave before 7:00, we should be good." Stiles looks over to Allison and Scott seeking their input, but they are fast asleep. Stiles sighs and sets the alarm on his phone. On the way to bed, he peers into the Moses basket, checking on the baby. Stiles crawls into bed and starts twisting about searching for a position that is both comfortable while keeping the baby in his sights. 

\---------------

Melissa sits in her car, staring at the house in front of her. There's a look of dread on her face. She sees movement in the kitchen and she slides down in her seat. "Oh God. This was a mistake. I wonder if he saw me...maybe I can just leave and he won't notice." Melissa reaches for the key in the ignition. 

And then there's a knock on the window and Melissa jumps. She turns her head hoping it's NOT the Sheriff. And it's the Sheriff, standing there, sipping some coffee. She smiles weakly and starts to roll down her window. 

"Something I can do you for, Melissa?"

Melissa sighs. "Can we talk?" 

The Sheriff nods. "Sure, we can do that. I've got coffee in the house or we can chat out here, if you'd prefer?"

"Coffee sounds good."

The Sheriff walks into the house and Melissa follows him.

\---------------

"HE'S WHAT?!?" 

The Sheriff bursts out of the house brandishing a shotgun. 

Melissa runs after him. "Calm down. Don't be hasty - it's not the end of the world."

The Sheriff throws his gun in the car and points a finger at Melissa and states calmly but definitively, " I am going to kill him."

He gets into his car and speeds off. 

Melissa sighs. "Yep, that went about as well as I expected it to."

\----------------------------

Derek is in the midst of his morning run, trying to take his mind off of things, when he hears the car barreling down the road. He automatically checks his positioning on the road and adjusts accordingly. It is only when he hears the car getting closer does he think to look behind and he barely has time to jump out of the way into the ditch. The car slams on the brakes. Derek is getting to his feet with an expletive or two on his lips when he hears the pump action of a shotgun. Derek instinctively dodges and the tree next to him explodes - splinters flying. Derek takes one look at the Sheriff as he reloads and then runs into the woods.


	8. Waves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The baby gets his name. Derek meets the baby. The end of this godforsaken story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is definitely the longest thing I have ever written fanfic-wise. This ending probably feels a little rushed..and stupid. But to be honest, I just wanted to get this monstrosity done or it would be like another three chapters of people driving in cars and having conversations and I'm snoring over here already. 
> 
> I imagine Cora being like Lydia-Lite, but IDK.
> 
> **Bold** indicates text message. 
> 
> _Italics_ indicate phone conversations.

Derek races through the woods, jumping over logs and dodging trees, which in and of itself is not very impressive. However Derek is also texting, searching for a reason for the change in the Sheriff's behavior. Derek has a message hastily composed to Stiles but hesitates sending it. He hasn't spoken to Stiles for three months. Not since that night. However Derek feels confident that whatever is wrong with the Sheriff has something to do with Stiles and finally presses send. 

**your dad is shooting at me. why.**

Derek shoves his phone back in his pocket as he leaves the safety of the woods. He's gotten a bit of a head start on the Sheriff but now he's leaving the cover of the woods - trying to head back to the relative safety of the loft.

\-------------

Sheriff Stilinski gives chase into the woods firing off another shot. He curses when he sees Derek quickly running out of range. He runs back to his patrol car and gets behind the wheel. He turns the car around and gives pursuit. When he reaches a red light, he hesitates before coming to a stop. He takes a deep breath and lets it out. He rubs his forehead and reaches for his cell phone. He calls Stiles and sighs when it goes to voicemail. "Stiles... just call me when you get this. I'm serious."

\-----------

Allison taps on the steering wheel, waiting for Stiles to finish feeding the baby. He's sitting on a park bench; T-shirt rucked up to his neck. They're never going to get back to Beacon Hills at this point. It doesn't help that Stiles' phone keeps buzzing impatiently.

Stiles finally finishes and starts to head back to the car. He opens the back door and loads the baby into the car before sitting in the back. 

"You've got some missed calls."

Stiles sighs and fishes his phone out of the door's cup holder. "Oh crap."

"What's wrong?" 

"Everything apparently, I've got four voicemails and twelve text messages." Stiles listens to his voicemails and his face pales. He hurriedly dials a number and frantically ends the call when it goes to voicemail. He then tries a second number, hesitating before pressing call. Nothing. 

"Stiles, what is it?" 

"My dad found out about the baby from Melissa and then apparently started shooting and chasing Derek around."

Allison looks a little shocked. "So it seems he didn't take it very well."

"Yeah... I tried my dad and Derek, no answer." 

Allison looks conflicted. "I guess we just keep driving..." 

Stiles nods distracted. "Sure."

"Okaaaaaaay. Let's get this show on the road."

Stiles nods. Minutes later, inspiration strikes and he starts dialing. 

"Cora?" 

_"Stiles."_

"Is everybody alive?" 

_"This is a very strange start to a conversation...well actually not that strange considering."_

"Cora." 

_"Well if you're referring to your dad chasing Derek about because he knocked you up...yes, everybody is still alive, but they left here a while ago. It was very entertaining while it lasted though, I had popcorn."_

"Where are they now?"

_"I don't know. I'm not a GPS."_

"Really helpful, Cora."

_"You're very welcome. Bye now."_

Stiles hits his head against the headrest. "Great." 

Allison looks into the rear view mirror at Stiles. "Is everybody okay?" 

"Apparently, but they're incommunicado - which doesn't exactly reassure me." 

"Yeah. I'd say you're pretty much screwed."

Stiles nods. "Yup." 

\-------------

Allison taps her steering wheel at the red light. She sighs, tired of the silence. "So have you thought about a name for the baby yet?"

Stiles raises his head. " Not really."

Allison hums as she drives through the green light. "Are you thinking more along the lines of traditional or crazy celebrity baby names?" 

Stiles snorts. "He used to be a puppy - I don't think he needs any more crazy."

"So Quanticor is out?"

"What...even...yes, that's definitely not an option."

"What about Mowgli?"

"Nope."

"Remus"

"Lupin. As in werewolf, why don't I just paint a target on his back."

"You can't keep calling him Baby though."

"Who says?"

"What about...Ralph?"

"Baby is too cool to be a Ralph."

\--------------

20 minutes later 

Stiles sighs. The onslaught of names is apparently never ending. 

They drive past a field filled with cows and Stiles laughs. "Fine, you win. Allison, meet Angus. Angus, say hi, to your Aunt Allison." 

"Really? Angus."

"Yes. Angus. So please be quiet now." 

Stiles enjoys the sweet silence but then he groans. "Allison, when you can, can you please pull over. Angus here needs to be changed."

\------------

Stiles is in the midst of trying to wrangle a diaper on little Angus when Allison makes a noise. Stiles turns and suddenly is face to face with Derek. A very frowny Derek. Stiles flails with surprise. 

"What are you doing to the baby?" 

Stiles opens and closes his mouth and waves the diaper about. 

"Give me the diaper." 

"What?" 

"Give me the diaper, you're doing it wrong."

Stiles frowns. "But how do you..."

Derek sighs. "Younger siblings, cousins. "

"By all means then." Stiles steps aside, gesturing to the baby.

Derek finishes diapering the baby and turns around, baby nestled in the crook of his arm. He is looking down at the baby in his arms. The look on Derek's face makes Stiles realize just how much he's missed him. 

"Does he have a name?"

Stiles fidgets. "Angus?" 

Derek looks down at the baby in his arms. "Kind of looks like an Orangutan to me, but I guess he'll grow into Angus." 

Stiles splutters. "Orangutan!" 

"Stiles, that was a joke. He's beautiful."

\---------------  
Now. 

"Hopefully your dad doesn't see fit to chase me around this time." 

Stiles laughs. "You've made an honest man out of me. I don't think you have anything to worry about." 

"This was the plan." 

Stiles rolls his eyes. " I'm just glad we don't have to have the horrible, awkward conversations again with my dad and Deaton and..."

" I get it, you can stop now." Derek folds his arms across his chest. "Angus really came out off your..." 

Stiles groans. "Deaton explained that all in extremely specific and horrific detail, twice. We are not having this conversation again."

"But..." 

"It's like time travel, Derek, it just makes no sense. Stop bringing it up, I have to go through this again...and there's going to be three of them... I'm freaking out." 

Derek gives Stiles a hug. "I'll be there this time, right from the start."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO YES. That was that. 
> 
> If for some strange reason, you want to see more about Stiles and Angus and Derek and the triplets. Feel free to check out Once There Was a Hushpuppy - Outtakes. The additional scenes that I have in my head will definitely will be shorter and I won't feel pressured to have tedious bits. 
> 
> Thanks for reading (I'M SO SORRY)


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